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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

yesterdae i CRIED for esther..i feel so...sad...i cried till i fall asleep.haiiss...i dunno what is wrong with me.i read her blog,she cried yesterdae too...would it be that,we are cryin atthe same time yesterdae?
haiiss..i dunno... i am just feelin extremely down yesterdae..i recall those sweet memories we use to have...but,like what i sae,its all memories.memories that cabnt nvr be reverse back in time anymore.haiiss....i gues..im GIVINUP... all she ever want is her zhihao,not me!!!i need to get this clear,that she dun need me anymore in her life!todae early in the mornin heard her sae abt her guy..haiiss...i muz fan qi le lahhs... its like...tearin me apart...
todae in school,ms daisy tan took up five periods...wha,than,she cried...she is ard 30+(not married)n yet,she cried in front of us.my whole class was like...laughin nonstop?n also,its rather funny..we dunno whats the reason she cry for..yupp.i get SUSPENDED in rtc todae...the whole dae lahhs..i just realise that i sign in the log book..since the first dae of sch till now,is like..alreadi abt 31 times?despite onli havin 62 daes...gosh..
its recess time after accounts..well,den same recess as 2/1...ehhx..what shld i sae ehhx?hmmm well,i fell down in front of her.stupid lahhs...she DUN EVEN CARE FOR ME!haiiss,anywaes,i admit..im feelin sad..veri sad in fact...i wanted to approach her,askin if she allow me to HUG her just one last time n than i willl swore to completely give up.shld i sae ive alreadi give up,or just lyin to myself?i told certain ppl....that,i am tryinto run away from the fact.till the time comes,.when i havecompletely give up..thats when im prepared to face those hurts n pain...this has been botherin me for sum time just now in rtc..haiis...HELP!!!
i dun wan to love anymore...it hurts me deeply...i no wants to longer love...i dun wanlove esther le..she onli cares for her zhihao...not me!!!ppl,give me time to GIVE UP on everythin..n e two of them...im just bein kinda weird todae...dwellin over the past of me n xiner...feelins gone.long ago..but onli that memories are still kept in my head...i have to *shake it completely off my mind*..i cant afford to make myself reali feel the pain once again...

im afraid of those pain i once felt,

for them...get it into MYHEAD!!!

BOTH U N I WERE NVR MEANT TO BE TOGETHER,

ANYMORE!!

im onli a human,

why would u wan to hurt me so badly?

its onli pain that im feelin

1738pm.

ihavetoletthingsgo=[

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
1:44 AM

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joanna_
miserable life_
280691_
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nvr trust in lurve_
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its a messy life=[

ilovesweetie!
the drum stick
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supermario!
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nvr trust this

lurve
empty promisers
my close frens
gettin hurt by yew*
eva to fall in lurve
family members
nt to cry anymore for yew*
i stop myself for lurvin yew*
i cant pull thru this hardship
i dun need love anymore=[
i cant make myself trust bungs anymore
i dun wan to love,but its al beyond my control

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you're the one i lurfe

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God.
ex 2/4^
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ive regretted

not cherishin yew+
not tellin yew how much i nid yew+
for lying to yew+
cumin into tis wurl with imperfection+
for hurtin myself+
for having the scar on my body which cant be remove anymore+
for knowing yew+
for not cherishin 2/4 2005
i regret not tellin u how much i mis u

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a song,i wan to composed for u n me!=[
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wo mei you yong qi zai ai ni

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